We are Ken and Lyndsi Shae, along with our boys, Linden and Sully. Hello from Southern California!
Thank you for taking time to learn about our family. We look forward to learning more about you and the wishes you have for your child. We have great respect for you and the difficult choice you’re making. Whatever path you choose, we hope you feel peace and clarity.
Ken was a disciplined engineering student. I was a free-spirited English major. I wrote poems.
He wrote study schedules. We were intrigued by one another and love came through our fast friendship.
Over the next six years, Ken worked as a canoe guide in Canada, and took two years away from college to be a missionary in Latvia. Lyndsi Shae spent 18 months volunteering as a missionary in California. Regardless of where we were in the world, we wrote letters and stayed curious about each other. While apart, we wrote 147 letters.
We eventually had a great season together back at college. Our time writing letters and growing up made it easy to recognize one another as the person we’d been looking for. Through time and distance, we’ve built a foundation of trust and a tradition of creativity when it comes to working as a team.
After much thought and consideration, we felt inspired to grow our family through open adoption.
We believe all people are good inside. We often say to our kids, “there is no such thing as bad kids, only bad choices; what choice do you want to make next time?” We hope this arms them against any shame they encounter in the world. We want them to feel loved without ever needing to earn it or prove it first.
I am a proud Navy lawyer. Service has been part of my family for generations. I love building things with my hands, football, and eating sweets. As a Dad I am dedicated to raising kids who work hard, respect others, and understand their worth.
Ken cares for others by serving and being resourceful.
When we were first married, Ken worked two jobs while in graduate school to make sure we were financially prepared to start our family.
While I was pregnant with Sully, Ken took Linden to the pool most evenings and taught him to swim. The next June, four-year-old Linden was fully proficient in the pool and could jump right in while I sunscreened his newborn brother and held him close to me in the water. It was a blessing all summer long that I never would have seen coming, but Ken was looking ahead and made sure we were prepared.
When public playgrounds were closed in 2020, Ken designed and built a playset in our backyard for the boys. Ken is the reason the gas tank gets filled and someone remembers to defrost the chicken. He is fiercely loyal to his family and I’m impressed by how easily and naturally he puts us first.
I am first and foremost a stay at home mom. Before I became a mother I worked in Special Education. Since then, I’ve been a yoga teacher and a volunteer through our church’s service organizations. I also love to write, dance, and ride my bike.
Lyndsi Shae’s natural ability to nurture shines through in everything she does.
I was immediately attracted to the love Lyndsi Shae has for the world. She has always been the first one to welcome a new face at church. She insists on having tons of food so we have plenty to share with friends. She meets you where you are no matter where you come from.
Lyndsi Shae’s desire to nurture is in everything she does.
When we first arrived in San Diego, we inherited a wild front yard full of desert succulent and catci plants. She spent years clipping and trading, researching and learning what these odd little plants needed. Each one got specific attention and flourished regardless of how pokey its outsides were. As a mom she is no different - all in, all the time.
We have spent the last ten years raising children together and she has grown into the role of mom so beautifully. I think her superpower is feeling the individual needs of each child and not being afraid to act on those feelings. Tough talks with the school teacher, endless phone calls with the doctor’s office, or special order homemade Halloween costumes--if our kids need it, she is there to figure it out.
Linden
“I am a big brother & I will always keep them under my wing. I just want to love that baby so much!”
Linden has always been our happy little tornado. Over time we’ve learned to understand some of his behavior differences come through autism and adhd.
Linden sees the world in such a kaleidoscope way, and it is a privilege to watch him learn how to express his perspectives.
He loves younger kids, and does a great job including his little brother. He thrives in the water, reading books, and making new friends.
Sully
“I want to play games with the baby and always say, ’you win!’ Also the baby can ride on my back.”
Sullivan (Sully) is named after our favorite beach in South Carolina, about 30 minutes from where he was born. He is a peaceful little guy, known for offering a hug when he senses someone is sad. Sully also loves riding his bike, pretending to be a cat, and painting rainbows. He is a great boogie boarder, break dancer, and artist.
We currently live in San Diego in the quiet community of Poway. Poway is known for its old horse trails which provide great hiking and walking paths throughout the neighborhoods. We are 30 minutes from the beach and we love the ocean! Now we’re a Navy family which means a lifetime of oceans! The beach is a constant that helps us feel at home wherever the Navy takes us. We find peace in the sound of the waves, and joy running around in the sand. We always have a beach bag packed and there’s always a little sand leftover in the minivan.
All of the places we have lived together are special to us for different reasons.
Provo, Utah Waterfall hikes, college friends, our first apartment complete with wood paneling and green carpet!
Austin, Texas Food trucks, swimming in the springs, a rare mixture of artsy and country culture
Charleston, South Carolina Warm ocean, warm friends, the best ice cream sandwiches, living near Lyndsi Shae’s side of the family
San Diego, California Rocky coast lines, watching our kids start school and sports, Mexican food all day long, living near Ken’s side of the family
Ken is the youngest of 5 and Lyndsi Shae is the oldest of 5. Our kids have wonderful, involved grandparents, as well as 17 cousins so far. It’s a wild party!
We’ve spent time living by all sides of our family in North Carolina, Utah, and California, with 13 family members here in San Diego. We love and see all of them regularly. Everyone is on board with our choice to adopt and excited to have a new family member running around with us.
We are very grateful that in every place we have moved to, we are immediately welcomed and supported by the community at our church. Currently, Ken is a youth group leader for the boys and Lyndsi Shae teaches Sunday School for the teenagers.
Communication is really important in our family. We plan to speak early and often with our children about adoption, as well as your strength in choosing this journey with us. You will be an honored part of their story. We also strive to be good listeners. We value your experience and are ready to build a relationship however you feel most comfortable.
No matter what, we promise to be a family of love that accepts and encourages their unique spirit. Whatever you decide, we respect you and are cheering you on in your future.
We truly appreciate the time you have taken in considering our family and we hope we get to learn about you as well. From the bottom of our hearts, thank you. Ken & Lyndsi Shae
